Saturday, October 30, 2004

A Date

Tonight my twin brother took my best friend on their first date as an official couple. I am very happy for them. Before they left I talked with my friend about the upcoming evening.

Though I accomplished several different things today, I have to say that I did spend a lot of time day-dreaming. Life. Friends. Family. Dating. Change. University. Age. Excitement. Romance. Others. Sadness. Longing. Smiles. Soft. These are all topics that my mind has gone through.

Places. Beaches. Sunsets. Sunrises. Beginnings. Endings. Clouds. Billowing. Wispy. Puffy. Cotton. Candy. Glowing. Shining. Sunlight. Streaming. Bright. Green. Grass. Trees. Nature. Breathe. Smell. Leaves. Fall. Brisk. Windy. Swirling. Emotions.

Indoors. Coffee. Talk. Smile. Eyes. Hoping. Inquiring. Uncertainty. Warm. Hearts. Steaming. Drinks. Gentle. Chatter. Surrounding.

Wishing. Accepting. Lonely. Happy. Life. Beginnings. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Never stop thinking. dreaming. imagining. going. places. coming. home. life. full. God. Love. Plans. Mine. God's. Accepting. Trusting.

And Life goes on.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

What a Great Day!... yesterday!

Wow... so yeah... I had an amazing day!

It all started with a great sleep. I got to sleep in until 10:15. As I am on reading break from school right now, it is particularly exciting because I don't have to go to class, and tomorrow, I don't have to get up to go to work at 6:00 in the morning.Anyway, after I got up, I had multi-grain cheerios for breakfast. Mmm mmm good!

Then I started the laundry going. I had three loads to go, so I was starting early. Stefan and Dylan had to help me figure out our new washing machine.

Next, I did my devo's for the day. I just started reading the book of Hosea last night... and it is pretty interesting. I don't remember having read it anytime recently at all. When I went downstairs to start reading some stuff for my Missions class at school, I found Sarah reading for one of her classes. We had a little debate on an issue in her Sociology book, until I decided I was not quite qualified to have that debate until I looked more deeply into it.

After that, I read until the first load of laundry was done. Switching that one to the dryer, starting on a new load, Sarah and I decided that it was lunch time. I had managed to reach the end of a chapter in my book, and it was 1:00 pm.

Following lunch, Stefan, Dylan, Sarah, and I went outside for some exercise, fresh air, and fun. I was going to mow the lawn to begin with, but we found a way to make that a lot cooler... jk. We had relay races back and forth across our backyard, pushing the lawn mower, at top speed. The grass was cut in only a few moments. Then I raked the leaves on the front lawn, and we layed on the grass. When we attempted to do some push ups, we found out that certain ones of us were completely useless at it. (myself included) When we played basketball, we had great fun teaching Sarah how to shoot exactly right for a free throw as well as do a proper lay-up. We were very particular about the way that it had to be done, eh Sarah?

When we went back inside, it was to do a bunch more reading, and for me, a bunch of laundry folding. Then Kev came home, and I left for the bank with Stefan. The first bank machine didn't work, so I had to get back into line for another one. On the way back home, I followed Sarah's example of smiling at people in other vehicles driving by me. I earned a very nice smile from one guy in a pick-up truck. *wink* *wink*

Dinner consisted of Chicken Pot Pie (hmm hmm good). Though dessert would have been nice too. Actually, we did get dessert. Tutie Frutie. Or however it is spelt. That was good, too.

This was followed by more reading of my Missions book, until my parents left for a meeting, and we moved onto bigger and better things, namely baking. We started by making the dough for cookies. But then we put that into the fridge so that the cookies wouldn't be all flat when we baked them. Then we made two pans of brownies, and two pans of ginger butter cake (in dutch it is called something else, but I don't know how to spell it). Then we went back to our cookies and baked 90 cookies. They were really good.

In the middle of all this, Stefan found some old animal masks from when we were little kids, and we all put them on and took pictures of us looking like absolute dorks. It was soooooo cool. (not really)

When all this was done being made, and we had finished cleaning up the kitchen, we all went off to bed. Actually, I went on the computer. I checked my email, looked for presents on the internet, etc. etc. Then I wrote stuff for my blog. Which I didn't finish until today.

THEN... I went to bed. But wait. Sarah and I chatted and did devo's and chatted some more. But before that I brushed my teeth. They felt so clean!

But yeah... then I went to sleep.

It was good.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Crummy!

Why is it that every time I come home for a holiday I get sick... I mean honestly. This year I've been making sure to take my vitamins like a good girl, who has been reminded to do so by her mother for several years now. I have managed to stay relatively healthy throughout the first month or so of school. Just about everyone else has gotten sick that I know. People at school, work, church, a friend's church, my roommate's family, my dormies, etc. But I, who am almost always sick with a cold or something, have managed to stay sick-free. Then in comes Thanksgiving, and what do ya know... I have managed to get a cold. Crummy!

Friday, October 01, 2004

Refiner's Fire...

I heard something a while back and did not get a chance to write it down in my own words and thoughts... so... here it is...

When a silver smith is refining a piece of silver, he puts it in the fire in order to refine it. Remove the impurities and make it more fully itself.

God has made me the person that I am. When sin came into the world, I was filled with impurities and sin filled my being. Yet, the person that God originally made me into, is still inside and I can be more fully that person when I am refined.
In order to refine silver, it must be placed into the hottest part of the fire, for it is only in the hottest point, that the deepest defects can be burned out. And yet, amazingly enough, even as this is done, if the silver smith is careful, the silver will not be damaged from the flames.
I have been placed in the fire... sometimes I feel like I am in the hottest part, and yet there are always hotter places to go. While it is tough, I can understand the need for me to be in the fire. God is refining me. The only way the impurities can be burned out of the deepest recesses of my heart and soul is to place me in the center of the fire, where difficult times in my life make me a stronger person, who is more sure of my faith and of the person that God would have me be. God is being careful. I will not be burned, or even singed, for my heavenly Father is watching out for my well-being.
The silver smith must watch the piece of silver constantly, because if it is in the fire even a moment too long, it will be damaged completely.
God has never, is not, and will never turn his eyes away from me and the struggles that I face in my life each and every day. The struggles that are on the outside that the world can see, as well as the struggles that remain hidden from the world, the ones that eat me from the inside out. God is burning them out so that eventually I will be free from the burdens that haunt my soul.
The silver smith knows that the time has come to remove the silver from the flames when he can see the reflection of his image in it.
God knows when to remove me from the fire when He is able to see his image in me. He created me in his image originally, and I still have that original image within me. Now the impurities are being burned away so that I will once again be the person and work that God created me to be, and I will reflect his image through my life.

However... the day has not yet come and could possibly be a long way off yet... it is coming... one day... yet... when I am in heaven with my God, my King, my Savior, my Lord... My Friend... then I will reflect God wholly in the way that He would have me do.

I love you Lord!

Some recent Changes in my Life!

Recently I have made some huge decisions for my life.

I went to a concert in May where the Newsboys played, and Peter Furler (did I spell that right?) gave a bit of a testimony. I felt convicted at that time that I had to make a decision... a decision for God... I needed to decide that I was a believer, rather than wait until God made me a stronger and better Christian. As I made this decision, I broke down. It was a shock to realize that God did want me... me... just me... exactly how I was...

After that, I also made another decision... and this was that I needed to become completely content with who I am and with where God has placed me. I needed to become content with what God has given me as well as with what God has decided to hold back for now. This doesn't mean that God will never give me my heart's desires, never let me move ahead... However, I realized that God is a lot wiser than I am... infinitely wiser... and I can understand why He is holding me back from where I often want to be.

Finally... I made the decision tonite that I am going to be the person that God has made me... This means that I will work on my sinfulness. Sometimes that results in a pulling away from certain people for a short while to figure out how the relationships are supposed to be going and what I should not be doing.

I won't be perfect now, after I have worked through these things for a large part, or ever in this life... However one day, when I get to heaven, I will be perfect. The angels will be amazed at the wonderful change in me... for I will be with my God, my Lord, my Savior, my King. He is almighty and above all. Revelation 7: 13-17 says, "Then one of the elders answered, saying to me, 'Who are these arrayed in white robers, and where did they come from?' So he said to me, 'These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve Him day and night in His temple... And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.'"

So yeah... those are my deep thoughts for now!!!